Hartlepool pub issues hilarious guide for non-drinkers on ‘how to not be quite so awful’ this Christmas
Hartlepool pub issues hilarious guide for non-drinkers on ‘how to not be quite so awful’ this Christmas.
A Hartlepool bar is taking no prisoners when it comes to festive visitors, having issued a comprehensive list of dos and don’ts this Christmas.
How to queue and order at the bar, as well as how to conduct yourself, are all addressed in a humorous Facebook post by The Royal on Church Street, geared at occasional drinkers headed out during one of the busiest times of year.
The message begins with the following: “It’s that festive time of year when decent, honest boozers are plagued by non-drinkers.”Whether it’s the Christmas work party or a restless drink with pals, you’re ruining pubs for the rest of us.”
A full guide on “how to not be quite so awful” follows. Top of the list is to avoid approaching the bar until you know what you want, as stated: “The bar is a complicated machine full of separate-yet-interconnected cogs.
“It is not the place to think, choose, or decide.” The pub also has queueing etiquette, stating: “The barman is completely in charge of who comes next. You don’t have to bang your change on the top of the bar.
You are not required to wave your money around in the air.”The bar also cautions partygoers not to start drinking around 4 p.m., stating, “You’re NOT a drinker.” We haven’t seen you for a year.
You’re an amateur, so don’t start with a marathon.” The pub unabashedly states that regulars may receive “preferential treatment” over occasional visitors.
It further emphasises that clients will not be served after the time has been called, and any requests to do so will be ignored. The Mail sought to contact The Royal for comment.
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